Status is a way to express your feelings or ideas to the world. Many people are funny, creative, or sarcastic when they or their friends post or update their statuses. In this article, we collected a lot of funny status lines. You can use them to share with your Social Media Profile, SMS, And in Comments too.
Facebook Funny Status
Facebook is a place where people express feelings, emotions, and insights into life. Most of the time it is serious, but sometimes you need a good laugh. Here are some of the Funny Facebook status Updates we could find.
If time does not wait for you, don’t worry. Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life.
If school has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking 🙂
I hate people who steal my ideas, before I think of them 🙂
All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.
Silence is the best answer of all questions and Smile is the best reaction in all situations. Unfortunately both never help in VIVA & INTERVIEW.
I used to like my neighbours, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi 🙂
Nothing moves faster than a girl untagging herself from an ugly picture 🙂
The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest.
I look at people sometimes and think ….. Really?? That’s the sperm that won 🙂
Girls are funny creatures. They hate it when you ask their age but will kill you if you forget their birthday.
How do people write an auto biography? I can barley remember what I had for lunch yesterday 🙂
Admit it, you listen to other strangers conversations and mentally give your opinion.
Girls work on their looks but not their minds b’coz they know boys are stupid, not blind.
I hate when people all of a sudden decide to be funny when I am drinking something 🙂
You May Also Like To Read:
- Anniversary Status
- Emotional Quotes For Facebook
- Best Kiss Messages
- Love Messages For Wife
- Romantic Love Quotes for Your Girl
God made everything that has life, rest everything is made in China 🙂
Every girl deserves ONE GUY who looks at her every day like it’s the first time he saw her. And Im that ONE GUY 🙂
I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.
Its better to fail than to cheat but its better to cheat than to repeat.
Dear Google, Please stop behaving like a GIRL. Will u please allow me to complete the whole sentence before you start guessing & suggesting.
Definition of human being: a creature that cuts trees, makes paper & write “SAVE TREES” on the same paper.
It’s funny how people judge other’s mistakes while they also do the same thing.
I always learn from mistakes of others, who took my advice 🙂
Boys will be boys as long as there are no girls in the picture.
If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it was meant to be. If it does not, hunt it down & kill it.
Quit your job, buy a ticket, get a train, fall in love and never return.
If you wish to avoid seeing a fool, you must break your mirror.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I’m not mad.
The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
Boys think of girls like books; if the cover doesn’t catch their eyes, they won’t even bother to read what’s inside.
Money can’t buy happiness, but it pays for internet, which is pretty much the same thing.
If life gives you lemons, just add vodka.
I think my iPhone is broken. I pressed the home button and i’m still at school.
Facebook is the only place where it’s acceptable to write on a wall.
Don’t you hate when the person you’re Facebook talking never updates anything.
Facebook is a crazy house People poke each other all day have an imaginary pet farm and talk to walls
I’m the person that the more you complain about me, the harder I’ll try to annoy you.
I bet that in prison everyone’s FB relationship status is set to it’s complicated.
Facebook is like a fridge. When you’re bored you keep opening and closing it every few minutes to see if there’s anything good in it.
If Facebook is the Upper West Side and MySpace is the Bronx, then Tagged is a trailer park in New Jersey.
I follow the quote, “Always be true to yourself” because I only lie to others!
You`re beautiful until your Photoshop 30 day trial has gone.
I posted on your wall. No, not Facebook, look at the side of your house.
Money doesn`t bring happiness, but shopping does..
I`m not single. I`m in a long standing relationship with fun and freedom.
Funny Status For Facebook That Everyone Will Like
Funny statuses are the ones that either make you laugh and smile or they intrigue you and make you think. Looking for the latest funny status for Facebook, but not getting any? So let’s get started with the ultimate collection of all the latest funny stuff.
If you can’t find the key to success, pick the lock.
One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.
I know that somewhere in the Universe exists my perfect soulmate … but looking for her is much more difficult than just staying at home and ordering another pizza.
Never make the same mistake twice, There are so many new ones, Try a different one each day.
Want to learn how to dance? Have a cold shower today at midnight, I bet, You’ll rock like SHAKIRA 🙂
Married men should forget their mistakes. There is no need for two people, to remember the same thing.
If money grew on trees – girls wouldn’t mind dating monkeys.
Opportunity knocks for every man, but you have to give a woman a ring.
The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.
You look like a cool glass of refreshing water, and I am the thirstiest man in the world.
If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
While waiting for the right person, have fun with the wrong one.
Girls fall in love with what they hear. Boys fall in love with what they see. That’s why girls wear make up and boys lie.
If couples who are in love are called LOVE BIRDS, then couples who always argue should be called ANGRY BIRDS
Sorry, I can’t hangout. My uncle’s cousin’s sister in law’s best friend’s insurance agent’s roommate’s pet goldfish died. Maybe next time..
Young love is two hearts with only one thing in mind.
I’ll be a billionaire once I’m done inventing this device that lets you punch people in the face over the Internet.
If you stop telling lies about me, I’ll stop telling the truth about you.
The hardest job facing kids today is to learn good manners without seeing any.
I wish I could google “things to eat in my fridge” so I wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed.
Thinks I feel great when I go to bed drunk. I wake up feeling crap. Obviously sleep is bad for you.
The best way to look younger, hang out with older people.
Women only need 3.5 inches to achieve maximum pleasure, it’s called a credit card.
I am going to start cleaning my house. And by cleaning, i mean drinking beer and spraying everything with febreze.
I am not feeling lazy actually, I am just incredibly motivated to do nothing..
You and your rumors have two things in common, you’re both fake and you both get around.
I’m not getting older, I’m just becoming a classic..
The zoo is a pretty safe place to fart.
I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.
My life, My choices, My mistakes, My lessons, Not your business.
Doctors finally figured out whats wrong with a boys brain; on the left side, there’s nothing right; and on the right side, there’s nothing left…
Tip to reduce weight, first turn your head to the left and then turn it to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
Your eye is the only part you can not wash with soap.
Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog crap off your shoes.
I`m jealous of my parents, i`ll never have a kid as cool as theirs…
Can I take your picture?? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters..
I have finally figured out why I can’t lose this extra weight. The shampoo I use in the shower that runs down my body says, “for extra volume and body.”
Even if you live your life as a open book, people will still wonder which pages have secret messages.
Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it.